What is A Morning Person and How Do I Become One?

I do not like being up early. I will never, ever understand the people who run in the morning, the people who get homework done in the morning, the people who fix cars in the morning, the people who go rock climbing in the morning, the people who fly a rocket in the morning. You get the point. I don’t get how people function so early at such high levels.

Like, I’ll get up, sure. I’ll do what I need to do. But I won’t like it.

This morning, my phone was going off at 10 am (I know, I know, that’s not even early at all) as my family tried to get a hold of me to do things and answer questions.

And I swear I’ve never been so confused in my life.

My general state of existence: exhaustion

I answered my mom in my best “I totally did NOT just wake up 2 seconds ago voice,” but before I could get anything in more than a hello, she’s asking for chips and balloons.

A simple request, to be sure. But you see, she was not speaking to Ari. Ari was nowhere near a state of waken-ness, so she was speaking to Ari Queen of Candyland, who was still halfway in dreamland.

So rather than asking, “What type of chips?” as I meant to, I said, “What… are chips?”

Kudos to mom, by the way, who simply replied “BBQ chips.”

She gets me. She really gets me.



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